I Wonder

Here is the promised sequel to This, That and The Other. I was going to write about this (the self), but noticed after the first sentence that I was already fully engaged in the other (what I make of it). So what follows is entirely what I make of the self. If you are looking for an exposition on the actual self, you are on your own.

I know. It's hard. You don't want to do it on your own. Neither do I. So I read some books by Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett, Robert Sapolsky, etc. But when I did that, I got what they made of it rather than the actual self. I keep yes-butting, reminding myself "never sell your soul for a theory". 

I continue wondering. I look closer for the self within systems of organs, tissues, cells, organelles, molecules, atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons, up-quarks, down-quarks, antiquarks, the Higgs boson (remember the God particle), wavicles, and such: that train of thought still leaves me wondering. I don't see myself in there.

We bring God into this because theologies are older than the Higgs boson and demonstrate the point very well. If we knew God we might know ourselves better. But don't tell God what to be because God is what God is in spite of what we think. Maybe God is not the omnipotent champion of our tribe who will ensure victory over the unbelievers, who, by the way, are in possession of something we want. If we don't sell our souls for that theory, good for us. Maybe God sees us as friends who are tragically stuck in a false idea of who we are. 

I wonder.
That's what I make of myself. 
I am a wonderer.