To Lift The Heart

 Since the PM is resigning, I have a few poorly informed thoughts.

First, let me get this out of the way. I would rather be a sesquipedalian who knows what he's talking about than an ultracrepidarian who doesn't. Nevertheless, I resolve to use shorter words so you can tell the difference. 

Therefore I will confess, in words with three syllables or less, that I don't know much about politics except the drama I see on TV, presented to hold the viewer's attention through the next commercial. Nobody wants to see government doing it's job. Boring. We watch the News to get our dozy amygdalas (oops, that's 4 syllables, delete one, 'mygdalas) aroused. Promise us something we can rant about or we'll skip the commercials and head to the refrigerator (5, sorry, try fridge). 

Since I am limited to three syllables, I can just squeek in Pierre Poilievre. That's pwal-YEV-reh, if I remember my highschool French. You swallow the reh, as I recall, although he's sometimes hard to swallow. Wikipedia says it's PAW-lee-EV, which sounds more like what we used to call franglais. I didn't read the remainder of the Wikipedia bio so I can't say much more about however-you-say-him except that if he's smiling, then you can be sure it is a Conservative sponsored photo-op or else he has let loose a stinker on the Liberals. (Sorry, 4 syllables in Conservative. I should have skipped the part about smiling. Rarely happens anyway. He usually looks like the principal who caught you spraying graffiti in the gym, even if it was just air freshener in the can and the gym really needed it.) Bad smells aside, Pierre chooses to be known as Pierre AXEtheTAX. Not sure why. There is no informa... (sorry, no factual data) in that name. It's just fear that the government is out to get us again, and a promise that you can trust Pierre to do the right thing, i.e. AXEtheCCR (sorry, I meant AXEtheTAX. CCR is the Canada Carbon Rebate. AXEtheCCR doesn't have the same sweet ring to it as AXEtheTAX, but you can't have one without the other.)

Then there's Justin Trudeau. That's troo-DOH, but you knew that because Pwaly whatevre never missed a chance to sneer the PM's name, and the media played it back over and over spraying it on your 'mygdala as indelible (sorry, make that 'not delible') digital graffiti.

Of course, the polls will detect what the vandals left in our heads. Next, government by those who spread angry opinions manipulating (ouch, 5) the ultracrepidarians (you'll have to look it up) who, if they buy the guff, will get what they deserve, government by slogan, free of actual facts.

Since troo-DOH, nobody is talking about how we get to net zero GHG emissions. Everyone knows, but won't say it, that we're going to get there, either because we managed to do so with effective policies and adult behaviour or because we burned up and blew away. But we must feed our 'mygdala thingies while we are still here. So let's all chant AXEtheTAX, and take what comes.

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I'm just catching on to using short words. Please forgive the lapses. I will do better with practice. At some point there will be a two syllable note from me, then one, and if your luck holds, .... 

Notice there was only one word with more than one syllable in the previous sentence and that was syllable. You may applaud. Please. The spirit of the age is so negative and critical. Give me some encouragement (sorry, that was a 4). Give us something to élève le coeur (lift the heart) in response to our efforts. Save some of that for people who have sacrificed their time in public service, even if they sometimes slipped up.

There's a point worth attention. I cannot understand why a person with a heart would want to be Prime Minister of Canada when all you get is cynical slogans imprinted on the angry amygdalas of the ultracrepidarian electorate. (Oops. 4,7,4. Fell off the wagon. Better stop. This is exhausting.)

Anyone for a PM without a heart? Or we could have a governor without one, and join the Don-Elon Empire. They used to be monosyllabic (oops, 5) Trump and Musk. Then Trump played his wildcard (the climate-crisis-scam scam) and won an election to become a two-syllable Seizer (that's MAGA for Caesar). Meanwhile, in anticipation of the second coming, Trump is dribbling on his neighbours. He thinks Canada, Panama, Mexico and Greenland are up for grabs and he is marking his claim. Meanwhile  Musk is hosing his scent all over Europe. 

O 'merica, what have you done? Don-Elon have teamed up to give us three hilarious (4, did it again, should have said goofy) syllables, and I can't keep up with the gags. Together Don-Elon could host SNL. Then on Sunday morning, they could lay claim to Mars. Don-Elon gone to Mars: a thought to lift the heart.